Why Men Leave Their Wives – Six Biggest Factors

savemarriageWhy men leave their wives? There are several different variables that can cause him to leave his wife. Bellow are the most typical problems that could make men decide to leave their wives and choose divorce as a solution:

Stagnancy – Occasionally a marriage gets too mundane and routine for men. They will come home and have the same routine wishing that things will be different that day yet the wife will just refuse a change to her comfortable routine. A man will leave to find something more exciting in his life.

Cheating – An unfaithful wife is sufficient grounds for a man to leave or kick his wife from the home. A creeping suspicion of cheating can invariably affect and seed a concern of being left for another man so he might initiate the leaving first. Women can avoid this by not being excessively flirtatious with other men.

Disagreement – Having different views on religion, politics and even trivial matters could easily drive a man away from their wife if they simply do not want to put up with the arguments anymore. Conflicts happening too frequently might prove too much for his patience and drive him away quickly.

Lack of Recreation – Any man hopes to have time for their selves where they can enjoy some rest and relaxation before returning to work in the week. Wives who take up their husband’s time are treading on dangerous waters by continuing to keep their men irritable which leads to complications later.

Masculinity – Women who emasculate their husbands or make them feel underappreciated will make a man feel like leaving. Women that make more money, are not feminine enough or just aren’t fitting the standard role determined by society are in high risk of having a man leaving. Regardless of how understanding or accepting they may seem of their gender role, masculinity plays a huge role on whether or not they stay in the relationship.

Longing for the Single Life – Men who partied often might feel like they miss having anyone they wished. The same situation where men get married young to their girlfriends may feel like they overlooked life in their early years. Leaving to seek out or replenish this youthful feeling of minimal care can certainly drive a man to leave his wife, home and even their work.

One or more of the issues above can make a man to abandon the marriage. Men are all different, no matter how similar they seem so even causes not mentioned in this list could easily cause them to leave their wives with little notice. A situation where everything may seem well may actually be disaster brewing between a man and his wife. A woman can do everything right in their own eyes but still do something to drive away their husbands if they do not take the appropriate measures in tackling issues that cause men leave their wives.

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33 Responses to Why Men Leave Their Wives – Six Biggest Factors

  1. Apparently I'm a Feminist says:

    I would like to punch the author of this paragraph in the face. Why are WOMEN supposed to be submissive and perfect and look like a model and men can do whatever the hell they want. I can’t make more money?! Get out of the dark ages. Ridiculous.

    Masculinity – Women who emasculate their husbands or make them feel underappreciated will make a man feel like leaving. Women that make more money, are not feminine enough or just aren’t fitting the standard role determined by society are in high risk of having a man leaving. Regardless of how understanding or accepting they may seem of their gender role, masculinity plays a huge role on whether or not they stay in the relationship.

  2. Roxie says:

    I would like all you folks out there to write to your law makers and insist that an ex pay child support for life for a disabled child of his!

  3. Skylo says:

    I have been stuck in a 5year marriage with a woman who is 15 year older than I am. The marriage started off from filing my residency for me since I’m not from USA, then she was pregnant and we had a beautiful baby girl who is 4. This woman has treated me like I’m her son, I can’t make any decision without her fussing or feeling like she has to be in control of everything. I was so nice to her in the first 3 years and treated her like a queen but she was so mean to me, I guess it’s cuz I’m not from here. I have been tired of the marriage since about 2 years ago but I’m scared of divorce and the situation surrounding it like I read online. I recently just left her house and I go to see my daughter and talk to her on the phone as well. She threatened she would leave the town and go start a new life with my daughter. She threatened she is gonna make my life so miserable. Plz I need advise on what to do.

  4. Susan says:

    Overall I find ‘some’ men selfish and self centered. They’re more interested in being players. Leaving your marriage for a whore who contributed nothing. Raping the soul of your beloved wife! We need leaders, real men, honourable men of God who can fulfill their vows. Mine had no excuse. He was pure evil! Psychopath…. Narcissist with red horns. (Grow up).

  5. Ashamed chicken says:

    I cheated on my husband 5 times . Truthfully I love my husband and want just him. For some reason it hit my last time. I’m done never do it again. It was like the devil took over.. The sad part is he thinks I’m lying and I am not …… Trust me guys cheating isn’t right. I think the person should go to a counselor and talk to the person. It’s like now I’m treated the very worst and most of the time I just wish I was dead.. I’m lost and broken and alone. Nothing I can do to keep him. I feel like a peice a shit low life person. I hate myself. The worst feeling is telling someone what really happened and they don’t believe you. They thing your lying. Oh my gosh I’m just disgusted and I watch couples and I say why can’t that be us. I pray to go to make a miracle in my marriage. Now I’m totally not doing anything and it doesn’t matter .

  6. Kris says:

    To all wondering if a mid life crisis is the culprit: YES! The worst day if my life was when my ex husband turned 40. It was like overnight he became a teenager again, rebellious, drunk, disrespectful and NEVER HOME. When he abandoned me he also left his children. Coward. A true man would know how to handle aging. Pathetic

    • Katie says:

      I totally agree with you. They are pathetic and SELFISH. Immature and disgusting. Mine ran off suddenly without warning after 30 years together for a woman who strokes his ego. Tells him all sorts of nonsense to flatter him about his sexual prowess (he is sixty one, read between the lines). They should run off to a psychiatrist, not another woman.

  7. j says:

    some wife just want to stay home , not work and spend money

  8. Drug Test says:

    This is what I call awesome content. Keep up the good work.

    • A Mans View says:

      Why men leave women is for many reasons.

      1st- Lack of intimacy. Men look forward to being alone with their wives without kids, pets, family etc. When that day/time happens he wants some short of intimacy. Without it the man feels like he has roommate rather than a wife. Wives seem to want to be pampered but men truly just want the sex.

      2nd- Boredom with the sex. Men want sex. This is true but they also want quality of sex. They want to try new things. They also like spontaneous sex from time to time. Sometime men are too nervous to ask as rejection to these things may be too much to deal with.

      3rd- Money. Both should understand what money is needed for bills. Then split that burden. Ladies should not be spending it on shopping when bills need to be paid. Men, should go out drinking when the bills should be paid. Make sure it is even.

      4th- Communication. You must speak to each other. Ladies do not speak about yourself all the time. Ask how the mans day is sometimes. Men should also listed to their wives as they too need to be heard. Ask the man what is troubling them as you may find out it easier to fix than you might believe. Just be ready for the answer without bring too critical.

  9. jeanice6868 says:

    Fantastic web site. A lot of useful information here. I am sending it to some buddies ans also sharing in delicious. And obviously, thank you to your effort!

  10. joyce says:

    I have been married for 24 years. He started cheating during our engagement, after we were married and after we had our son. It seemed like he stopped for a while, but the we moved back to where we were from , and now he left me for a 25 year old, moved in with her. he lost his good paying job, and does not take care of the kids. He was always complaining about what I was not doing for him, while he was not doing it himself.
    I was a stay at home mom, would take care of him the house the kids, the finances. But it still was not enough. What men don’t seem to understand, is that when u have children things change, and if they don’t help and leave everything for you to handle and then still complain about it at the end of day if you are too tired to have sex with them. To Neil who complains about not knowing what his wife wants, I got a news flash for you : Ask her, she’ll let u know. Stop assuming.
    They leave because they are cowards, who don’t want to put in the hard work it takes to make a marriage work. They are selfish, because they only care about their own needs and feelings. I say this because they leave without thinking what it will do to their children.

    • Dan says:

      If he cheated during your engagement and you married him anyway, you’re an idiot.The failure of the marriage is as much your fault as his.

  11. debbie says:

    My husband cheated on me again, for the fith time. We were married for 34 years. I tried really hard, I am a beautiful woman, our kids are grown. I forgave him for past affairs and he told me he loved only me. He begged me back each time until the last affair. The woman he had his last affair with is 15 yrs younger than me and has 5 kids under 18. She had also been with my husband 2 other times. The first time she was 15 and he was 30. My husband and i had just lost a child to cancer. My husband was very sorry and came home to his family. The woman knew he was married. My husband and I loved each other very much and worked things out. Than 25 years later contacted him on Facebook while I was away. She had been divorced two times and again knew he was married. They again had an affair, I had no idea. She would contact me and say awful things to me. That is how I found out. After he denied the affair by saying I was crazy many times he finally confessed and was not sorry. I could not take it any more so after 34 yrs if marriga to a man I thought was my soul mate and best friend, I loft and we got divorced. My family is destroyed and she has taken my place in my home my bed, ECT. I told her she could have him. She won and got what she wanted. My grown kids are devastated, and I am now single and hear broken. I have to start over which I am trying to do. My kids tell me that when they visit their dad at our home. They tell me that the woman and my ex talk about me and say mean things about me. I have asked my ex to please not talk about me in that way. I am not a threat to this woman or my ex in any way. I tell my kids their fad loves them very much and believe it would be wrong for me to talk about their dad in a mean way. I am struggling financially and am trying to heal emotionally. Why is my ex so angry with me and why does his girlfriend say mean things about me in front of my kids. We are divorced, she got what she wanted. I am so hurt and feel like a fool for forgiving my ex so many times. I really trusted him. I have lost my best friend and my family is torn to pieces. What did I do wrong. Why would a woman do this to a family and why did my husband do this even after he said he would never cheat on me again and he loved only me. He said I taught him what love was and I would never have to be concerned about him having an affair again. Yet he did and our marriage is over.

    • Kelly McLaughlin says:

      Debbie , I’m sitting here reading your response this morning and it’s almost my story . This has just happened to me in the last few months. My husband 13 years, only we have a 6 year old. We were older parents when we had Andrew , I was 47 when I had him Mark was 45. I have 2 much older children. Andrew is marks only child.
      Mark left to take a job in the spring, 3 hours away. Things were financially very stressed here. But we had been through much tougher times before. He went to work in an area where he grew up in. We said we would just commute on weekends so we could still be together as a family and eventually Andrew and I would move down there by the end of next schoo year.

      He became very cold and distant with me almost as soon as he got down there. I had suspected there was someone else because of his behavior towards me. That’s what they do to make it seen like there were worse problems than what there really was. He would get really hostile with me. What happened was he had been in communication with an old friend from high school. Once he let the cat out of the bag ( via a text message as I was driving home from a long trip with our son in the car) he has told me “how nice it is having someone who really knows him”. Much of this initial coming together was I’m sure fueled by alcohol. I thought it was entertaining to think that he really thought that she “knew him”. They hadn’t seen each other in 35 years, only recently were in communication with each other and “they know each other so well”.

      I’m devistated like you. I thought this man was my best friend. But he folded when things got really tough. Financially things were getting really bad here, and I’m finding out more and more after he’s left just how bad. I got a summons in the mail for him which says he is being sued by the state of Vermont for tax fraud .. To the tune of 30,000..

      Even with all that, my heart is broken for what was. I miss him terribly ..

  12. lildick's ex says:

    they leave because they are not mature enough to stay and TRY. so they leave like the cowards that they are. AND why is it always the wife to blame ???? did he stay sexy looking – no packed on weight – did he appreciate me ? no just complained- did he make the money ??? only when he worked which was only part time so yes I DID MAKE MORE $$$$ because I WORKED MORE – glad he is gone now though 😉

    • Neil says:

      After 20 years do you still keep trying.if you don’t know the situation what give you the right to judge.i made a promise to love and cherish my wife for life,I still do but I’ve become lonely and fed up with the same crap everyday.Ive tried to spice up our lives but it’s always I’m tired or I really don’t feel like it,or just left in limbo not knowing what she wants.

      • Paul says:

        Neil your 100% correct ! I have been married over 18yrs. I have cooked breakfast for my wife everyday because I love her she is from another country and hates American food so refused to learn how to cook it so I usually cook for myself if I’m hungry. I even moved to where her family lives to help take care of her 88 yr old mother who is a widow ,leaving my job, my friends and selling my beloved Mazda Miatia convertible leaving everything behind. Her family hardly ever talks to me which is partly my fault for being introverted. I never go see them unless invited, I spent my retirement money building her a 2700 sqt ft house of her dreams. There is almost no physical contact between us ever. All I have is my books to read, my tv and the internet. I tell the Lord I ready anytime he wants me. I ask myself why is this all there is… I guess so I’m to old to start over.

        • GY says:

          Bring it up, you might read Gottman’s books on marriage issues; also it is worthwhile to ask for some counseling. It’s better to try something different, and change your approach – you have nothing to lose, and none of us deserve to give up on having good companionship and a supportive spouse.

  13. James Hightower says:

    Stagnancy, is mine, I firmly feel No Man will Leave his wife if they Continue to pay close attention to each other. Maturity does factor in but when Frustration Really settles in Some men will flee. Divorce Solves Nothing, Go to what worked, & if that doesn’t fly learn what will. Communicate. The Only way other people get into your relationships is by gaps & cracks, men a women Solidify your Marriage, Stop Placing Blame….REPAIR.

  14. didi says:

    the “clever” people say you should respect your husband you(the wife) should not nagg her husband with her troubles and first let him talk about his day before you talk about your day you should keep your self(body,clothing,nails,hair)in a presentable manner!! BS… if that man made up his mind to cheat and have a girl to cheat with or more he will just do it. you(the wife)remember should not nagg him, wich means if he come home late …no asking him where he was and why he is late. dont try to find out if he was really in office or wherever. just be loving to someone who dont give a sh@#. marriage is a nightmare with a husband who is a coward and selfish. i am getting divorce and believe you me no more marring for me. it is fake. when you young you are golden when you reach 30 to 36 you are boring and dull in his eyes. when you try to get to the bottom of what is actually going on here you are too overpowering…..blame blame blame to put you of track . Sorry married couples but single is my new name. no stress about where he is what he is up to how he is cheating and cuddling with younger girls and waisting family money on them and then electric bills cant be paid minimum groceries for 3 kids school fees totally in arrears. oh yes mommy is working she can sort that out. what ever. i am done complaining about nothing. keep up the fighting for your marriages women good luck. ya i am still in pain as you can read. but i will get over all of it by the grace of Our God.

  15. love says:

    Hello, just wanted to tell you, I liked this article. It was
    helpful. Keep on posting!

  16. Martin Pharoah says:

    I think married women/men who cheat should just get a divorce manual and get one, why pay more social security out to the boring wife/husband than you have too. Life is waiting for you!

    • Paula says:

      Yes it gets BORING but thats an OPPORTUNITY TO to take a,break and then try new things not just shove the WHOLE marriage in the trash and start all over. Meanwhile the whole FAMILY unit is gone DEVASTATED and everyone is alone in their corners. Family SHOULD be numv6er one, MARRIAGES shoukd always be second but preserved FOR the familues sake. WITHOUT MARRIAGE THEIR IS NO FAMILy UNIT IT DIES AND THAT WHOLE BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS GONE.

  17. alloxiastam says:

    Today is virtuous indisposed, isn’t it?

  18. sandra says:

    The number one reason men leave their wives is lack of emotional intimacy. They may still love their wife but without intimacy and closeness, you are married to nothing but a roommate. Emotional intimacy is not sexual, it is comfort, hugging each other, listening to someone you really care about, the ability to talk about anything going on in your life. Yes, it takes to two people to be able to give the intimacy to each other. Eventually when couples get too busy or start to move away from each other regardless of the reason, the emotional intimacy ceases. From there, the couple continues to move away from each other. Couples who have successful relationships share the same nature and values, like each other and find it easy to want to comfort each other.

    • Janice says:

      I think some of what you said is true but my husband at first when we met was not affectionate, after 12 years of me putting up with it now he tells me he meet someone that he can talk with, laugh with and all the things I wanted him to do he said he was not like that. I am so happy he is gone out my life. He will do the same to her first a little attention then none.

  19. Kevin says:

    I can’t speak for anyone but myself. The reason that I left was a combination of some of the things in the article, but mostly it was the disrespect. Everything I did was wrong and everything the kids did was perfect. It really seems to come down to wives stop being wives and are just mommy. Many men that I have talked to are just tired of not even being considered. The whole kids first thing is destroying marriage. That is the whole shift these days. Put your partner first in everything, always. Anything else and it may take months or most likely years (I was married for 28 yrs) but the pain of staying was worse than the pain of leaving.

    • Ace says:

      Amen, Brother. I left after a long period as well. I tried very hard over the years to make it work, but she just ignored me. I left and haven’t been this happy in decades.

    • d says:

      Is abandoning the marriage and leaving your partner your idea of putting your partner first? (as you suggested)

    • Joe says:

      I left for the same reason, Kevin. We have been divorced for 26 years now and our daughters grew up to be the same way. Nothing is ever good enough. I love them from afar and could not care any less. The loneliness of living in a house where one is constantly disrespected is much more difficult than living alone, as I see things. My new partner’s children treat me with great respect and thank me for being around. Why wouldn’t I do anything for them over my own biological daughters. I could not care any less how they perceive things. Emotional abuse is often hidden.

  20. sandra guess who says:


    • Paula says:

      I couldnt agree more. Men just look for an excuse to bail on their responsibilities and bed more females,using any excuse they possibly can find. Wah wah wah boo hoo woah is me they think. The problem is her the problem is,my kids. They need to look at themselves blame thwmselves instead and figure out how they can actually fulfill their vows in a productive way rather than break them and,destroy everyone around them in the process; All to satisfy their own egotistical narcissistic selfish desires.

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