You discover from a conversation with your partner’s friend that they went to a pub last night for a couple of beer. Though you find nothing wrong with the act, you’re frustrated that your boyfriend lied to you about it. You wonder, “If he can’t trust me with this, what else don’t I know about him?”
The sad thing with the one million dollar question, “Why do men lie in a relationship?” is it doesn’t have definite answers. However, the enumerated six reasons below might explain why your partner keeps pulling the wool over your eyes.
To avoid petty arguments
He resorts to white lies because the truth may cause a misunderstanding or argument between the two of you. For him, telling you too many details will only make you nosey. That’s a trait he certainly dislikes as it questions his privacy, decision and actions.
To avoid hurting you
He may think you don’t look great with your red blouse but since it’s your favorite color, he compliments your outfit instead because he wants you to be you. If you share to him ideas he knows nothing about, he might simply nod and comment how excellent it is than to let you explain over and over again.
To move on
Not telling you the entire history of his love life is not a sin of omission for him. He only thinks that how he behaved in the past may influence your thoughts and feelings about him. He doesn’t want to focus on the past since there’s nothing you can do about it. He wants you to focus on how you get going as a couple.
To conceal his drives
Why do men lie? He probably has desires and urges that you haven’t or can’t satisfy. He can’t help but seek for gratification from other sources like buddies or other parties. Though he loves you, he feels unsure whether telling you the truth is the best idea. When this move leads to infidelity, it causes guilt, pain and even separation. A cheating man can be identified from his change of behaviors and habits. Read signs he is cheating for more on this issue.
To protect his ego
Do you know of public officials who lie to preserve their good reputation? He may think that way too when he has an unacceptable behavior that can ruin his image in your relationship and in your primary groups. He’d rather lie than destroy his stature by just a single act.
To get what he wants
A lot of people lie to get things done in their own way. Situations like politicians making empty promises, supervisors bribing subordinates, students watching a movie instead of making a project happen anytime, anywhere. It is most likely that he lies to you too for his personal favors.
Men may have good intentions for their dishonestly but still, the end does not justify the means. Lying remains an act of disrespect, betrayal and disloyalty. That’s why no matter how little a lie is, it becomes an issue in the relationship once it’s uncovered.
If you’re a woman who has a partner who doesn’t value honesty, you should not tolerate it. Don’t just entertain the answers to your why-do-men-lie question. Do something about it. Explain to him that your relationship cannot survive without trust in each other. BUT, you must do it the right way since “you always do X” IS a fight starter and it won’t solve anything. Do it carefully and bring the subject on the right moment.