It is unfortunate that nowadays, more couples don’t do things the hard way. When pain builds up in their union, they easily raise their hands in surrender and show that it’s-over-and-done look. Some forget to consider that marriage is a multi-faceted relationship; it should not be abandoned for a single reason alone. If you’re on the brink of pulling back, read our guide on when to divorce before you reach the final decision.
Do you always end up fighting over simple matters?
Couples need a fight once in awhile. It is good when it promotes individualism and understanding of the other. However, when your partner becomes a pain in your neck and when every word he/she says gets into your nerves, it isn’t healthy anymore. Try to ponder why your partner can’t do anything right for you and what happened to the patience and tolerance you used to have for your individual differences.
Have you become insensitive to your partner’s physical needs?
Sex isn’t just an outlet for your physical needs. It’s the most intimate expression of love, an avenue for deep connection and belongingness. If such intimacy with your spouse makes you feel nauseous or trapped, you do need air to breathe in. If the idea of kissing, cuddling and lovemaking causes you much discomfort instead of stimulation, it’s time to act on your feelings.
Have you failed to maintain respect and trust in your relationship?
These values are two of the building blocks of a successful marriage. Reflecting on how you express them should be part of your consideration on when to divorce. If you’ve come to a point of doubting your partner’s moves and intentions, think over your stained faith. If infidelity, unrealistic excuses, obvious lies and lack of quality time don’t bother you anymore, it’s clear that you haven’t maintained the sustaining elements in your union.
Have you utilized all the means to save your marriage?
It would be quite unfair for everyone if you just nagged and complained the whole time. You should maximize all possible opportunities to mend the broken pieces. Have you taken one more step to make him/her feel special like how you used to? Have you attempted to communicate heartily, read self-help books and tried enrichment programs or counseling sessions with marriage therapists?
Can you imagine yourself independent from your spouse?
Divorce can bring negative knock-on effects to your life as well. You may undergo financial burden, stress caused by emotional adjustment, tension due legalities on child support and visitation and personal battles against depression. When these consequences seem better than living with your spouse under the same roof, it apparently signals your unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
At the moment you said “I do”, you committed yourself not only to your partner but also to a relationship that requires wise and mature decisions. It implies you have to be responsible for the success of your married life. However, if you answered yes to most of the when-to-divorce questions above, it might be better to live separate lives than continue hurting each other. Just remember that if you think you’ve “tried everything”, then you probably haven’t.
||Save Your Marriage Even If You’re the Only One Trying
In “Save the Marriage”, you’ll discover how to assess the stage of the crisis, address it, and TURN IT AROUND. You’ll find exactly what to say, what to do, and what to avoid to finally save your marriage. And lastly, you’ll discover how to have the marriage of your dream.
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