Saving A Relationship And Making It Work – Four Ways to Do It

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but when you are both faced with a really tough situation… do you know where to go from here? Sure, there are several options to saving a relationship, like marriage counseling and therapy, but these options will not actually work for everyone.  Here are four tips on how to fix things up and live a happily ever after.

Analyze the Situation

Evaluate the situation in order to understand why your relationship is coming to an end and ask yourself if the relationship is still worth saving for?  Weigh the pros and cons and examine what you will lose or gain if ever you decide to fight for the relationship, or maybe it is better to just let go. Take your time into analyzing things, and ask yourself these questions – Is he really the one for you, in spite of what happened, or do you really love him that much?

Look for the Cause

Deep down below everything, there is got to be some tangible reasons why things are going sour. Probably your relationship’s lost its spark, it’s not affectionate anymore. It might be that something has changed in one of your lives. Maybe you’re not communicating well anymore or taking pleasure in each other’s company.

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Being unfaithful is often a problem, but I will tell you something most people don’t realize: cheating usually isn’t a cause; it’s a symptom. For somebody to cheat, there has to be something wrong already. Nobody in a joyful relationship cheats on their partner.

One way to fix things is to take a moment together and make up a list of everything you like and a list of whatever you don’t like about the other person. I realize what you’re thinking, “That sounds crazy!” Well, reality is not often easy to digest. Yet, getting these things out in the open helps find the causes for the unhappiness. It’s time to be brutally honest. And also, your “likes” list will help you both recall the good things and realize your relationship’s worth saving.

Excellent Communication

Everybody knows that it’s supposed to be about good communication, but what is that exactly? There are actually 3 things you have to communicate well:

Forgiveness – You both did a few awful things probably. Well, everything bad in the past is going to be erased and you’re about to start clean. Forgive the other person and do not play the “blame game.” That’s where you’re both pointing the finger and saying “YOU did XXX!” Saving a relationship means forgiving the past and building a plan for the future.

Forgiving one another is the most important part, yet the most difficult thing to do, especially if it was your partner who has sinned against you. But if you really want to save the relationship, despite all that has happened between that two of you, then you’ve got to forgive one another. The easiest way to do this is to evaluate the relationship and recall all the good memories that you two have shared in the past.

Honesty – Place all of the cards on the table. Only total honesty will resolve things. It can hurt at times, but it’s the only way to make it work.

Good Listening – Communicating is about a lot more than speaking. When you’re revealing how you feel and laying out the genuine truth, you have to listen to each other. Now’s not the time to offer a point-for-point rebuttal. No excuses or explanations, simply pay attention to what each other need to say.

Fix it

Saving a relationship is a partnership. You’ve got to make a plan for the future that will work, and you have to make it together. It has to be a good agreement for both of you.

When we are trying to fix things, there’s a tendency to just go along with what the other person wants. That is a big mistake. This is likely to make things much better in the short-term, but it means one of you will likely be miserable over time. Those issues that triggered your near-breakup are going to come sneaking back in. You need to both be satisfied with your plan for saving your relationship. Here’s 2 things you could do to make the process easier:

Spend Time with Each Other – If you and your partner are both willing to make things work, one of the most important thing to do to rebuild your relationship is to spend quality time with one another. If possible, go on a holiday with just the two of you, perhaps on a lovely beach or in some faraway place. But if you don’t have the means to go on a vacation, another option is to do activities altogether, like working out at a gym or indulging yourselves into your favorite sports.

Make Some Changes – No matter who is at fault, try to make some changes within yourself, or maybe do something to mold yourself into a better person. If you feel like you do not pay that much attention to him/her lately, then it’s time that you do something on this, because this is actually the key to saving a relationship. The most common reason why couples are breaking up is because both parties are unwilling to change themselves in order to be in-tune with the personality of their partner.

In the beginning of this article, we made a list of problems, right? Now we are going to tackle them one-by-one. First, prioritize the list. Begin with the most important or greatest problem, and work on that one first. Do not try to fix everything all at once.

If both of you can work together toward the same goal, the problem WILL be fixed. When things already got better and you feel those “sparks” once again, you’ll realize that saving a relationship is not that difficult and worth the effort.

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