She stares at the band around her weakest finger for a while and then turns her gaze into the darkness of the night. It was right there at the porch where he proposed to her. No, it wasn’t like the movies. He didn’t bring any props for the drama but still, it made her giggle as the moment was romantic in itself. But as she stares at the ring again, a teardrop falls onto her hand. They’ve had big fights recently. Musing on his gestures, justifications and preferences, she concludes, “My husband wants a divorce.”
Resorting to freedom is quite tempting. But a wife who values the sacrament of matrimony will ask herself how she can satisfy her husband in different ways. In evaluating her role in their union, she must answer the questions stated below.
Do you appreciate him for being a good provider?
Men have always acted as providers. Centuries ago, they go hunting in the forest and bring food for their families. With our gender sensitivity pursuits, it may not be true to all cases nowadays but still, most man would like to get that feeling of personal worth for being able to take care of the materials needs of his wife and children.
Do you give him enough silence?
Men by nature are not as blabby as women. When they are tensed, problematic or in deep thought, they need space and silence. Though this gives women a shot of paranoia, they’d like some time on their own. If he’s not interested in lengthy conversations, let him be. He may not be talking but he’s still thinking.
Do you talk to him squarely?
Another difference between men and women is how they convey their message. The former are straightforward while the latter beat around the bush. This unlikeness causes serious arguments and worse, it makes some wives say, “My husband wants a divorce.” Refrain from making long introductions or from letting him read between the lines always. As much as possible, get straight to the point. You can still do it with tact.
Do you initiate lovemaking from time to time?
Let’s face the fact that sex is important for men. Women who are responsive in bed attract them. If you’re not in the mood, explain it to him gently and he will understand. Further, men don’t want to control the situation all the time. They want their partners to do their share of first moves as well. By the way, men love sexy underwear.
Do you let him hang out with his friends?
Men value friendship like women do. Talking about sports, cars, art and current events over some bottles of booze makes them realize there is a world outside their home. Don’t get easily jealous with the time he spends with his friends. If you do, it sends him the message that you’re controlling his life.
Do you take care of yourself for him?
After a long day at work, your husband wouldn’t want to get home to see you in your torn oversized clothes. Men want their women to be their prettiest trophy so mind the way you physically project yourself. However, don’t get too obsessed with your looks as it turns them off. Just practice proper hygiene, buy clothes that fit you well and make yourself appealing to him.
If you’re a wife who’s caught up with a my-husband-wants-a-divorce issue, try to answer these questions and from your answers, generate ideas on how to save your marriage from your end. Discuss it with him. Say sorry if you made mistakes against his nature in the past. If your husband truly cares for you, he will understand you don’t want to end your relationship. Of course, he must also do his part in saving it. Love is not a one-way street after all.
Involving an expert through marriage counseling is the fastest way to solve marriage problems, but if you can’t get him to go with you, I’d suggest you to get an expert help in Saving Your Marriage. I’m sure Dr Frank Gunzburg and his team can give you the best solution to avoid divorce.