Knowing that your husband has been unfaithful to you can be a traumatic experience. Dealing with this issue takes a lot of courage and patience, and not one solution would work for everyone. There are various reasons why a person would become unfaithful to his partner, and therefore, these reasons must be addressed first in order to solve the problem. So in case you will be faced with infidelity issues in your married life, then you have to look for the best solution for you and your partner.
Dealing with Emotional Infidelity
Infidelity, by definition would mean having a physical intimacy with other person outside of your marriage. This might be common among men, but a lot of women now are also becoming unfaithful to their spouses. Other than physical intimacy, it can also take the form of emotional intimacy, something that does not involve any sexual or physical contact. Others would say that emotional intimacy should not be taken seriously since there is no physical and sexual interaction involved. Well the truth is, emotional infidelity will sooner or later lead to physical and sexual infidelity, and it is actually more difficult to detect because of its non-physical in nature. Therefore, if you suspect your spouse having an emotional intimacy with someone else, then you must take this matter seriously before it can lead to something else.
Signs of Infidelity in Marriage
The number one sign that your spouse is having an affair with someone else is his strange behavior. If you suspect him to be leaving your house even in the middle of the night and goes home at dawn, then beware, he could be meeting up with someone else. Obviously, if your husband is into emotional infidelity, then he won’t be doing these things. But try checking his mobile phone or laptop, and you might see in there his conversations with another woman that looked like they are more than just friends. So even if they have not met in person yet, you must immediately take proper actions to address this before everything is too late.
Is Divorce the Solution?
Divorce may be an option in resolving infidelity in marriage, but this is definitely not the best solution. Remember that you are bound to a lifetime commitment with your partner, and if you have kids, then this will definitely affect them a lot. So before you decide to file for a divorce after you found out that your husband is having an affair with someone else, make sure that you first sit and talk with your husband and decide what you can do in order to resolve these issues. Ask his reasons for doing such things and address these things. If he tells you that you lack time with him, then perhaps it’s about time that you give up some of the things that’s keeping you busy. Although rebuilding trust in a relationship is very difficult, but going through the process of divorce is much more difficult. Aside from being time consuming, it would cost you a lot, and most of all, the pain and trauma that it would bring to your kids is heartbreaking.
Consider Your Kids
As previously mentioned, your kids will be the ones that will be greatly affected in case you decide to end the marriage. But if your kids are already old enough to understand the things that have been going on between you and your spouse, then it is best that you discuss the reasons why you are in conflict. This is especially true if one of your kids have seen your spouse with another woman. So explain to your kids what happened and as much as possible, avoid badmouthing your spouse in front of your kids. After all, he is still their father, and no one can change that.
1. Visit a Counselor
A counselor probably can help if you and your spouse cannot resolve the conflict on your own. Counselors are expert when it comes to resolving infidelity issues in marriage, so they would be able to give you the best advices in addressing this issue. They will also teach you how to rebuild your trust for your husband and prevent these things to happen again in the future.
Do remember though, that counselor is just another human being. You can’t expect him/her to take care of the problem for you. In the end, it’s up to both of you to overcome the problem.
2. Using Self Help Book
Despite thousands of different circumstances, usually the core of the problems in a marriage is surprisingly similar to each other, thus it’s possible to develop self-help book that can help couples overcoming their marriage problem. This method is certainly useful if your partner has given up and you’re the only one who’s been trying to fix the marriage.
We are only human beings, so we are prone to make mistakes. Sometimes, we need other people to tell us the mistakes that we did and how to correct these.