When you stare at your husband, do you feel him humming England Dan’s, “Oh, it’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along?” Do you sometimes find yourself borrowing Simple Plan’s, “You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want but I know, I know your love is just a lie?” Have you ever woken up one day with a gruelling desire to know if he’s a secret lover to someone else?
Calm down. Before your emotions hit like a tsunami and drastically ruin your marriage, make sure you can prove he’s hiding something in his own Pandora box. If you’re not certain on how to do it, continue reading this article and discover eight ways on how to catch a cheater.
Know your partner.
Reading a list of behavioural tendencies of a cheating man is not as reliable as it may seem. Though it may guide you in one way or another, be reminded that an indicator may be true to one case but not to the other. When he’s often rendering overtime in the office or when he’s too conscious with his appearance, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s seeing another woman. So make sure you have a good grasp of your partner’s personality, habits and routine. This will help you pinpoint his inconsistencies in the relationship.
Don’t get carried away by your suspicions.
Doubting his fidelity will start to trigger hundreds of wrenching emotions. Once they’re not properly dealt with, you’ll end up subjectively assuming things according to your fears and apprehensions. So when you’re starting to develop that sickening feeling that he might be possibly cheating on you, keep your mind at the steering wheel. Drive the car with objectivity and consider every angle of the situation. Getting your thoughts clouded won’t help you at all.
Monitor your husband’s activities subtly.
Part of knowing how to catch a cheater is to accept the possibility of playing hide and seek. As the ‘it’ of the game, search for the truth like a spy resolving your own controversy. You don’t need to borrow Harry Potter’s invisible cloak to be not caught. Just make your moves at the right place and at the right time. Don’t check his phone every time it beeps or ask too many questions about his whereabouts. It will only hint him that you’re into something and most likely, he’ll find a way to get you lost or disturbed.
Learn the art of questioning.
The right questions always elicit the right answers. If you just blurt out and squarely accuse him of unfaithfulness, he’d be defensive. So instead of saying, “Are you seeing another woman?” or “Who is that woman who often chats with you late at night?” throw him open-ended questions that would allow him to explain. For instance, if he keeps coming home later than he usually does, you can say, “I observe that recently, you always work overtime. What is your challenging project all about?” While listening to his answers, keep the next advice in mind.
Watch out for lies.
Because he has to cover up for his extramarital affair, he has to think of lies to avoid hurting your feelings. But the good thing is nothing remains a secret so you’ll eventually find inconsistencies between his words and deeds, no matter how extraordinary his feigning skills are. Listen to every word he says and practice reading between the lines. Look at his non-verbal messages. Does he speak in awkward, cold and defensive ways? When you probe on something, does he answer your question or does he keep digressing from your topic?
Get in touch with the people he’s often around with.
When your partner is seeing someone else, there will always be a witness for such affair. At the start of their dishonesty, nobody might notice it but once they go out regularly, a colleague or a close buddy will get as suspicious as you. Some might be the accomplices of the indecency or some might choose to keep quiet to avoid any scandal. Asking them bluntly isn’t a good idea. Chances are they’d be careful with what they say. Try to dig relevant information through your usual conversation instead. Also, try to talk to those who are loyal to you or those who value marriage vows for they’re more likely on your side.
Listen to your intuition.
Women have always prided themselves with their intuition. But what does this really mean? Intuition is all about being mindful of everything that’s going on in your marriage. It’s all about discerning if everything’s going well or if your husband’s looking for the missing piece of the puzzle in another woman. It’s about seeing, listening, smelling and feeling the truth with your senses. It’s about seeing interconnections that exist around you. If you know how to cultivate your intuition, then you definitely know how to catch a cheater.
Collaborate with technology.
Technology currently plays a major role in making a successful relationship. But on the other side of the coin, it has also served as a bridge to forbidden flirting and sexting that cause breakups. If you have a hunch that your husband is cheating on you, try to check the gadgets he usually uses. If it’s the Internet, check the browsing history, temporary files, his emails and his social networking accounts. If he’s spending a lot of time with his phone, try to go over his messages. Be reminded, however, that this is a violation of privacy. So do it only when the situation calls for.
If you confront him without strong evidence, you’re like a teacher entering the classroom without an idea of who your students are or a surgeon entering the operating room without checking the patient’s health history. Nevertheless, if you done the above mentioned tips and still have doubts, I suggest you visit Sarah Paul’s Catch A Cheating Spouse for thorough guide on gaining hard-undeniable evidences (if there is any) before actually confronting him. The truth might be hard, but it is far better than live in ignorance.