Handling Infidelity in Marriage – How to Deal with the Pangs of Impossible Love

How do you react to this sight?

Infidelity is a possible impossible love. It’s ideally impossible since an attached person should remain true to the marriage vows and stay loyal to the significant other. It’s possible because despite the immoral issues it brings, some are still tempted to the redness of its apple.  Nowadays, it’s not only Adam who always takes the first bite. Eve also does the hiding and nibbles the fruit to her pleasure.

This act undeniably brings into the relationship negative vibes such as pain, confusion and insecurity. These can break the trust, the bond and the ring if not dealt with objectively. If you’re one of those who are currently facing this disheartening issue, here are four tips that must not be left unread.

Tip 1: Let the pain stay for a while.

Don’t shoo the hurt right away. Let it sink into your consciousness, slap your face and cause you to sob. You are entitled to feel that way since you are a sensitive human being. Feeling the pain is the start of acceptance of the act, your key to making mature and wise decisions. It is as healthy as jumping for joy, as long as you don’t dwell on it for too long.

Tip 2: Figure out what the culprit is.

To objectively identify the cause of infidelity, always remember that the culprit is an answer to a ‘what’ question, not a ‘who’. You might be dying to point your finger at your partner and throw harsh words to those who angered you but the wise thing to do is to calm yourself, watch your mouth and be mindful of your actions. No issues are resolved by merely blaming a person. Whether you believe it or not, this is applicable to infidelity too.

Tip 3: Come up with a decision.

There are only two major options in this case: save the marriage or let go. When your spouse has cheated on you, it doesn’t necessarily mean everything’s over. You can still iron things out by compromising and by prioritizing the value of loyalty again. It can be very challenging but still doable. However, if one or both parties lack the motivation to pick up the broken pieces, signing the divorce papers stays on the other side of the coin. It may be a sad decision but if it’s the best way of moving on, the let it be.

Tip 4: Forgive and live fully again.

Whether you stick with or separate from each other, learn to forgive and consider the extramarital affair as part of history. Don’t let it continuously ruin your present as living life in bitterness is the choice of a loser. If you keep the resentments of the past, you will face each day with irrational fear and unreasonable skepticism. Life is too beautiful for that.

Handling infidelity in marriage involves a bumpy process since it includes the chaos of mixed emotions and the battle against an important person in your life.  It can also ruin your plans, your family and even your life. However, just remember that you won’t stay in a crisis mode forever. Everything passes. Before you know it, you’ll be grateful for the strength and wisdom you gained from it.

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One Response to Handling Infidelity in Marriage – How to Deal with the Pangs of Impossible Love

  1. oiza says:

    I didn’t cheat on my husband. But there was a chat with my ex that he saw stating that I will c him whenever he comes into the country but we never saw and I accused him that why didn’t he call me when he got into the country. That was the last time we spoke in 2014. But my husband got to see the chat last week and he is insisting I slept with my ex. What do I do? My marriage is crumbling.

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