He sent her a short email that made her recall the first note she got from him. She replied back and updated him with her pet rabbit, her boss at work and her little sister’s graduation. He responded lengthily this time, with details about his three-week adventure on the road. This exchange of messages went on for some time until they decided to meet at the bar they used to frequent. That night, everything seemed to be like how they dated before.
Wait, it doesn’t mean that because you still have the chemistry, you can get back together with ex partner right away. Remember, the breakup process you underwent before left a chip in the glass. To ensure it’s not going to break into pieces, consider the four factors before you give your relationship a second chance.
Ask yourself why you want your ex back in your life. Is it because you want somebody to satisfy your carnal needs? Is it because you’re getting sick of the loneliness a single person has to face? Is it because he or she is always there when you’re at the bottom of the pit? If your answers to these questions are all affirmative, it would be quite unfair for the other to believe in your intentions. The motivation must be something unselfish, something rooted in love, something where you can build your commitment on.
Some lovers reconcile a couple of days after they broke up. Some feel the spark again after a couple of years. Why? It may be because of the reason of their separation. When couples split up because of a petty argument or misunderstanding, they regret soon and iron things out right away. However, when the cause is as serious as falling out of love, presence of a third party or pursuing an ambitious career, they need enough time to ponder who they really want.
So when do you know it’s time to get back together with ex? You have to feel it. When everything around you seems to fall into place and the snapped string that used to link you is the only imperfection you notice, the clock’s tick is telling you to retie the knot. Time, indeed, may be quite mysterious but Pericles, a prominent Greek statesman once said, it is the wisest counselor of all.
Acceptance is needed in three things: in letting go of what you had, in understanding the changes while you were away from each other and in complementing your strengths and weaknesses. Without it, you will tend to dig your arguments in the past and have a hard time adjusting with each other. It is also your key to openly discuss issues and think of ways to strengthen your relationship.
Going back to the heartwarming story behind the Love Ladder in China, Liu, the husband, hand-carved 6000 steps for the convenience of his wife, Xu, in going down the mountain. This leads to the question, “How much are you willing to sacrifice for the happiness of the other?” If you find the answer, you’ll know how long your second try will last. However, sacrifice, according to Mahatma Ghandi, must not cause sorrow to the doer. It must lighten minds and gives a sense of peace and joy.
If you have the unselfish reason, the perfect timing, the value of acceptance and the undying commitment, go on and get back together with ex lover. If you don’t, it might imply you don’t really love her or him that much and thus, there’s no need to try all over again.
If you find this advices helpful, I suggest you check out Magic of Making Up for more actual steps to take. There is no guarantee that a reconciliation will happen, but having the right expert guidance will help you a lot.
Do You Still Love and Care Your Ex Very Much But He/She doesn’t Feel the Same? Do You Think that You’ve Messed Up So Bad that the Relationship is Beyond Recovery?
||If your answer to the above questions is Yes, then the first thing that you must realize is THERE IS HOPE. A lot of couple reunited every day regardless of their awful situation and you CAN too!
.In The Magic of Making Up, you’ll learn how to re-invent yourself to attract your ex, indentifying the REAL cause of the breakup and SOLVE it for good, get back together with your ex, and maintain a healthy, long-term relationship afterwards.
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