Do you ever ponder why you behave this or that way in marriage? You may have a number of reasons for a certain behavior but they can all be summed up by what you believe in. Your values are guiding principles or standards that you consider worthwhile. They determine how much time you spend for the family, how strong your bond is and how you treat your partner. They are your marital cornerstones.
Values usually differ from one person to another but in marriage, the following must be held on to by couples to successfully keep the relationship going:
No two people are similar in all aspects. Even if you say that you married someone who shares the same hobbies and priorities with you, you will gradually find out how different you are when you start living under the same roof. At some points in the future, you will have different preferences in child rearing, in your future plans and even in watching TV programs. However, if you maintain respect for one another, you will be able to adapt with each other’s personalities and appreciate who you truly are.
When you sign your marriage contract, you embraced the responsibilities as one of the heads in the family. This covers addressing the survival needs such as providing food on the table, paying the bills and sending kids to school. This also includes the emotional side like being effective parents, supporting your partner’s pursuits and consoling each other in times of grief. If you take away this value, your marriage won’t certainly survive with immaturity and selfishness.
Marriage normally undergoes misunderstandings, annoyances and anger. If you dwell on these moments or if you keep grudges, you lead yourself into the path of bitterness. To keep yourself emotionally healthy for your own sake and for everyone in the family, you must value forgiveness. Through it, you won’t be wasting your time and energy for uncontrollable things in the past. Also, learn to ask for forgiveness. Show remorse for any hurt you’ve caused to your spouse. Prove that you are sorry for the consequences of your wrongdoing.
The value of commitment means sticking to your marriage regardless of where it is heading. This can be easy when everything is smooth-sailing but when the boat encounters the threats of big waves, it can be grueling. With commitment, however, you’re confident that you’ll make it through huge stressors and petty challenges of the journey. The thought that someone’s with you through thick and thin brings the feeling of security and inspiration.
To check whether you and your partner have the same values, list the things that you hold in the highest regard and examine them if they are helping your marriage grow. Ask yourselves, “Are they the ones you truly need?” “Are there things you must change?” and “Are there other values you must prioritize?” Then as you go on with your lives, make sure that your decisions are aligned to the values you’ve agreed on.