It’s quite difficult to define what an emotional affair really is, because even those people who are involved in it are not even aware that they are already doing it. But by definition, emotional affair refers to the relationship between two individuals who often share their feelings and thoughts with each other, and they feel they already have an emotional bond even though one or both parties are committed to someone else.
Emotional affairs could ruin your relationship with your partner, so it is very important that you find out early on the emotional affair signs:
Not telling Your Spouse about a Certain Close Friend
If you are hiding your friendship with another person from your spouse, then this could be a sign that you are into an emotional affair. So if you are a married woman and you are so close to one of your male colleagues, and you always hang-out with each other without your husband’s knowledge… beware – you might be in an emotional affair with this person. Another indication that you are in it is when you keep on thinking about the person that you always long to see him, even if your husband is around.
If you found out that your partner has been communicating frequently with someone he/she keep from you, then it might be an emotional affair in action.
You Tend to Lose Sexual Affection towards Your Partner
Another emotional affair signs is when you feel that you no longer have feelings of physical or sexual attraction towards your partner. What’s worse is when you end up fantasizing with the other person even if you are sleeping right beside your partner in bed. In most cases, you would feel so irritated every time your partner is around and you often argue with him/her, even for no reason at all. In other words, you are no longer happy with him/her because your happiness is with the other person to whom you have an emotional affair with.
You are More Comfortable Confiding Your Feelings towards the Other Person
An emotional affair begins when you feel comfortable confiding to the other person all your thoughts and feelings, instead of confiding it to your husband. As the comfort level increases, both of you will start to share intimate details of your love lives, and even discuss marital problems. Because of your emotional bond, you will soon develop a feeling of intimacy towards each other and end up falling in love.
If you feel you have these emotional affair signs, and you still want to save your relationship, the first thing that you must do is to analyze the reasons why you end up having such affair. Emotional affairs will usually happen if you and your partner have relationship problems that you tend to ignore each other, and in order to fill-in the needs, you or your partner will have to look for someone else to talk to, which could be the beginning of an emotional affair. If you notice these signs from your partner, then you should talk to him/her right away and fix your issues. But if you feel you are the one who are in the situation above, then you better analyze things, before your friendship with that other person could develop to an emotional affair.
When people find out that they have problem in their relationship, usually they’ll be too upset or overwhelmed to think straight and fix the issue themselves. If you think you need help and don’t know where to go, I suggest you seek expert advice in relationship problem in Marriage Sherpa.